Casey Reale


Casey Reale


Relationships in 2018 are a struggle for a lot of people. It is hard to actually know if the person you are dating or in a business partnership is one worth pursuing all on your own. Not to mention the hundreds of little tips everyone gives you to "help" you find your soulmate.

A misconception many people have about finding their significant other is that they are finding their other half. We need to be a whole person finding someone who compliments us and doesn't complete us. God is the missing piece in our lives and if we put the expectations on someone of the part in our life God is designed to fill.... that's terrifying for the other person. Could you imagine being held to the expectations of love, grace, understanding and caring that God can only provide? Not one person on this earth can even come close to meeting those expectations and that is perfectly fine because that is how it's supposed to be!


When we are facing difficulties in relationships we often turn to people around us rather than to God and His word where the answers are for EVERYTHING. This is what God has to say about relationships:


Ephesians 5:21-33 (MSG) "21 Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another. 22-24 Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So, just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. 25-28 Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage. 29-33 No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband."


Now as we all know, the Bible wasn't written in modern day English which means there are probably some words that are in the Bible that have different means then the English equivalent. One of those words is love. The Bible actually refers to three different types of love, these being: Eros, Phileo, and Agape. These all have very different meanings even though we all use the word love in place of them.


Agape is the love God has for us and the love we should have for each and every person by choice not because we are getting something out of it. Could you imagine a world of Agape love? No wars, no poverty, no homelessness, and no starvation and ALL love. Sounds like heaven, right?


Phileo love is meant for friends, love of someone even when you know their hang-ups, habits, and hurts.  During Phileo is when God intends for us to start figuring out if we are to marry this person that He has put into our life. Marriage is the step we take in between Phileo and Eros.


In the words of Pastor Jesse, Eros is the "ooo la la" love. This love is meant for a man and wife after they have been married before God. 


This is where the adversary can be deceiving and is honestly so good at it. He knew God's intentions with creation and is now the master of taking God's intentions and making us see his deception as God's truth. He takes the order God intended love to come in and mixes it up. The devil puts the idea of Eros, Philo, and then Agape at some point and time. Honestly, the majority of the time Agape gets pushed to the back behind anything else going on. Putting Eros before Philo is the leading reason why divorce rates are so high. People get into physical relationships and kind of get to know the other person and then get married. Agape love is going to come into the relationship if you want it or not, because your partner is going to do something to frustrate you and being able to love them through it is hard when it's the last type of love we feel for that person. 


If you are truly wanting to find a significant other, you don't run to the relationship; you run to God. Run hard to God. Put your head down and sprint and every once in a while look up and see who is around and then run harder towards God and see if they can keep up. Our relationship with God HAS to come before our relationship with anyone else, even your husband or wife.